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2018 August

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12018 August Empty 2018 August on Mon Aug 06, 2018 12:51 am


August 5, 2018

    The first thing I would like to say is this: I am going to very blunt in what I have come to understand, and I know for a fact that because of this bluntness, people will think me to be a crackpot and will stop reading, how do I know this, because I myself have done it in the past to others.

    I am going to start this entry going back to that moment back on December 12, 2005. It is a testimony of a beginning and what I write is a result of that beginning that has continued to now and will continue on in future writings.

    I was just an average person, like any other average person, working for a living, which that phrase in itself is kind of ironic, because the average person in this world "works to survive" ..... anyway, my occupation was a drywall taper and I was struggling, but my struggle was not with things of the world, I made enough money to live a comfortable life, I wasn't struggling in a marriage because I was divorced, but I was struggling spiritually.

    Over the years, I had gone to church but there was never anything that ignited something inside of me. I had in the past got down on my knees and asked Christ into my heart, the first time I think I was about 12, and many times after that, but nothing ever changed. Little did I realize, the reason nothing ever happened was because of another thing I would ask for in the future, years from when I got down on my knees for the first time ..... which, just now I realized this, while I was writing.

    I had always been hearing of the stories of people who had something drastic happen in their lives that changed their whole perspective on things, including life itself, and others who an event that changed their lives so drastically that it was like they were no longer the same person they were before, and I wanted that; I wanted that drastic event. God knew this of me, that when the moment would come, I would know for a fact that it was Him who orchestrated it and I was about to have that prayer answered, but didn't know it.

    It reminds me of Mark 13:35 "Watch ye therefore: for ye know not when the master of the house cometh, at even (evening), or at midnight, or at the cockcrowing, or in the morning;"

    The thing is, I wasn't watching for Him, I had lost all hope of anything ever happening to me. Again, little did I know what was about to happen to me that day.

    Back to what I was doing shortly before that moment, I was at work and I was listening to a Christian radio station and there was a guest speaker on instead of the usual programming. This guest speaker was a son speaking about the compassion of his mother and right in the middle of him speaking ..... came a drastic change inside of me. I didn't know "what" it was, all I knew was that I knew for a fact that something changed.

    What I can say about it now is, in all that I have come to understand through His written word through the Spirit of the Word, which is God's Holy Spirit, which, by what I am about to say may sound very crazy and insane to some, I had become Mary and my experienced was the point of conception in me by the Holy Spirit and now Jesus Christ was being formed in me.

to be continued .....

Wisdom is not measured by time, it is measured by understanding

22018 August Empty Re: 2018 August on Mon Aug 06, 2018 4:05 pm


August 6, 2018

At the beginning of my walk, I used to try and explain to others what happened to me in that moment. I love watching movies and one of the movies I would use to try and explain it was the movie "Cocoon", but not the whole movie, just a scene from it. It was the pool scene where the woman of light wanted to share herself with the human man. She formed a ball of light and it flew around for a little bit and then all of a sudden it hit the man in the chest and he felt something he had never felt before; it was if he became one with her and then knew what it was like to be a part of that race of light beings.

I also used the example; the theory of the "Big Bang", as if something exploded inside of me and everything came into being in that single moment.

Before my experience, I had two dreams, I don't remember how far apart they were, it could have been only months, it could have been years, and I also don't remember if these dreams were before I saw the movie "Cocoon" or after, I would actually say that they came after. The reason I can say they came after is because I do not remember having any thoughts after seeing the scene in the movie that connected it to my dreams, but my dreams connected me to the movie.

What both dreams had in common was a light hitting me, in the first dream, it came at the end of the dream; in the second dream, it came at the beginning. And also what I remember about the two is a time difference, and what I mean by that is the length of the dream; the first one was longer in time than the second one.

In my first dream I was wandering around in a graveyard and it was nighttime, but not dark enough to where I could not see the surroundings. I knew I was in a graveyard because I could see all the headstones and I also saw trees. As I was wandering around I came across another man in the graveyard, he was a person I had gone to school with, he was a year ahead of me and I knew his name but he was only someone I knew and had no idea if he knew who I was.

I just kept walking and we didn't even say hi to one another or have any interaction at all. As I continued to walk among the gravestones, out of the corner of my eye to my right, I saw a small light appear in the night sky. It was at the angle the sun would be after it had risen above the horizon after about an hour or two of rising. It was just a small light like a star in the night but brighter than the rest and as I turned my head to the right to look directly at it, I noticed it was getting brighter, but not in the sense that it was getting brighter in the sky, but in the sense that it was coming towards me and I had a small sensation of being afraid.

As I turned my whole body in the direction of the light, directly in front of me, probably about four or five feet was a large headstone that was about three feet high. As I went for it to hide behind it, not knowing what was coming at me, a few seconds past and I peeked around the edge of the headstone and saw that the light was getting even closer than before, so I ducked behind the headstone again.

The thing is, it did no good for me to duck behind the headstone, because the light penetrated and passed through the headstone and hit me anyway. When it did, it was the most awesome feeling I had ever felt, and nothing to this day in this world can compare to what I felt, not even the most awesome adrenaline rush I could get, and like I said in my post yesterday, I am going to be very blunt, it didn't even come close to the feeling you can get during a climax while having intercourse. I still can't find words to describe the awesome feeling, and again, because of what I have come to understand through His Spirit; the closet I can get to explaining it is; I felt a presence that I knew was not of this world.

When I think about the comparison between what I felt in my dream and what I felt that day while awake, there is no comparison except the one of; I knew for a fact something happened, and I felt a presence that I had never felt before and I knew this presence was not of this world. That feeling I had at the end of that dream, that was so awesome, mere words in trying to explain it, take away from what it actually is.

The second dream I had was much shorter in duration than the first, the light hitting me, which again was a very awesome feeling like the first. But without taking away from what I felt, it was if the second time I felt it, in the second dream, it had just a very slight difference in intensity, as if it was less intense without being less intense, (not sure if that makes any sense to whoever is reading this), but that is the best way I can describe the two in a comparison.

Anyway, the second dream started out with that feeling and I did not wake up from the dream like I did in the first one when it ended. In the second dream, I was by a fountain, like you would see in movies of a rich person, with this fountain being in the middle of a brick driveway in front of the house. The brick driveway was paved in the same way you would look at a river with a big rock in the middle of the river. Just like the river would flow around both sides of the rock, this driveway was paved around the fountain in front of the house.

The house itself was like a mansion, not as big as can be imagined, but it was a two story mansion, with five windows evenly spaced across the face of the second floor. And on the first floor, the four windows and the door were evenly spaced apart like the windows of the second floor. The only difference being that on the second floor there was a window in the middle and on the first floor, the door was in the middle. All three things, the fountain, the driveway and the house were all made up of the same kind of brick; all of them with a base color of white with tinges of yellow throughout the brick, like looking at carpet that is all one color, but you see different shades in it because of the direction of the fibers when it is in the light.

Getting back to where I was in my dream. I was at the side of the fountain, and it was daytime, but I had no sense of the presence of the sun in feeling the heat from it from being in the sky. I was on my knees next to the edge of the fountain with my left arm on the edge, like I was using it as an armrest. I could feel the coolness of the water from the fountain and then again, I was hit with a light from the sky and I felt the same thing I did in the first dream, and like I said, I could sense it being less without it being less.

This dream seemed to last only about fifteen seconds, it was like the first five seconds I could see where I was at and then I felt the light hit me giving me the same feeling I had in the first dream and then for about ten seconds afterward, I saw my surroundings and became more aware of them.

to be continued .....

Wisdom is not measured by time, it is measured by understanding

32018 August Empty Re: 2018 August on Fri Aug 10, 2018 6:10 pm


August 10, 2018

From time to time, as you shall notice as you are reading, I will be speak of things that seem like they are not in chronological order of my testimony, but in what I have come to understand in how the Lord teaches us, that even though I write about things I come to understand in the past tense and write about things in the present tense of things He is showing me now ..... they are all connected directly to each other even though we may not see the direct connection.

Yes, I know, that in itself can be very confusing.

What I mean by this is: the subject I am thinking about now is "the thousand year reign of Christ" and in my testimony I am writing about how my dreams are connected to what I come to understand inside of me of: being Mary and the conception of Christ in me.

To think that the thousand year reign of Christ is only a literal understanding of what is to come, we can also understand it as something that is taking place in us this very moment. What I mean by this is: understanding what the thousand year reign is through the speaking (or writing) of things Spiritually.

What the Lord does in us through what I believe the apostle Paul completely understood, summed up in the one term he used; "the renewing of the mind": the Lord converts the physical things of what we already understand into spiritual things that we do not yet understand. And by the words of Jesus upon the cross in saying "It is finished", we now have everything we need to completely understand what He intended to do before the physical creation came into being (before the world was; also seen as before the foundation of the world) and how He does it through the use of a physical example and showing us the spiritual meaning of it. The "renewing of the mind" is the ability to take anything physical and through the Holy Spirit in us, He converts it to a spiritual understanding.

I know I got off track in the connection I began with, but if we do not understand this principle, we limit ourselves in coming to understand things ..... in which ..... I believe ..... can also be seen (understood) as: we stop growing in understanding. And what I mean by this is: the physical things only have a limit if what we see is all that it is. If we only see "a hat" as "a hat" it just remains a hat, but if we are shown it's purpose: it is a covering for the head, by this we can be shown ..... in scripture ..... that this same example can be seen and converted to "a helmet" and seeing the purpose of "a helmet" is that it protects the head, then coming to the understanding that our head has a brain in it and then that brain can be seen as "a mind" finally coming to a conclusion that we have been given "the mind of Christ" which is: the ability to convert one thing to another and seeing the spiritual meaning hidden in the physical things of this existence.

By all of this, we see "a hat" is more than "a hat" when we are shown that "the righteousness of Christ" is the covering (the hat) that protects "the mind of Christ" (the head) in us. There is nothing in this physical world that does not have spiritual meaning hidden in them, and to say that anything in this physical world is worthless, is to miss the spiritual understanding hidden in it and that is what ..... I believe ..... is to be understood in the term "to miss the mark" translated as the word "sin".

Does God forgive us of this missing of the mark, yes, because we are spiritually discerned ..... understood as "cut off" from this ability to discern ..... cut off from His Spirit showing us the unseen in that which can be seen ..... showing us the spiritual purpose of what can be seen as something physical.

as before ..... to be continued .....

Wisdom is not measured by time, it is measured by understanding

42018 August Empty Re: 2018 August on Sun Aug 12, 2018 6:33 pm


August 12, 2018

This was brought to my spirit today:

"We can't leave until the last penny is paid" ..... early in my walk, when I was still going to church, it was this that the Lord brought to my attention beforehand (before I went to church one Sunday), one Sunday during a Bible study, this was mentioned and I had no idea at the time where the strength or boldness to say something came from (but I do now), ..... at the time it was mentioned, I said that "hell was temporary" and when I think about it now, it was like the words out of their mouths were like the plagues of Egypt descending upon me, but what I also now know is, I had the blood on my doorpost and that "firstborn" thought of "hell is temporary" was not put to death.

It is only now that I can look back upon that incident in my life and see that it (hell is permanent) was just another stumbling block that had to be removed in order to come into the understanding of UR.

It is only now also (IMO) that there are three general types of people, those who raise the flesh/body above the spirit, those who raise the spirit above the flesh/body and those who do not raise or lower one above or below the other.

For me, it is like saying, you cannot raise the Son of man above the Son of God  ..... and also, we cannot raise the Son of God above the Son of man ..... they are equal in value ..... Yes, the Son of man was put to death, but I believe this was the full manifestation of what man had done to the body (through Adam, for in Adam all died)..... but the "Word" was also raised back up as an incorruptible body and that this incorruptibility is: that one is not more important than the other, they work together as one to manifest the Love of God in this world, in this world where Love may be alive in the (S)spirit but it is dead in the body ... unable to be manifested at all times through our actions towards all and this in itself is what I believe salvation is all about:

His continuing work in us to manifest His Spirit through this temporary body that is corrupted with death, but can also manifest Love through our words and actions ..... through our words (Christ Jesus/Spirit) and through our actions (Jesus Christ/body).

So many things have to come together as one in understanding what God is doing in mankind and if we only focus on the bad things and not on the good things, the things from above, we can easily fall back into the darkness that is upon the identity of the people in this physical world; which, I believe, is just another way of saying, they have no idea of who they truly are.

to be continued .....

Wisdom is not measured by time, it is measured by understanding

52018 August Empty Re: 2018 August on Mon Aug 13, 2018 4:09 pm


August 13, 2018

Life is in the spirit ..... and the spirit is in the body ..... the only reason this physical body has the power to move is because a spirit has been place in it..... remove the spirit from the body and the physical body can no longer move.

I think the easiest way to explain this in earthly terms is the example of anything that a battery is placed into, understood in this way in earthly terms:

Power is in the battery ..... the battery is in the device ..... the only reason the device can move is because the battery has been placed in it ..... remove the battery from the device and the device can no longer move.

So what we have in earthly words and terms can easily be understood in spiritual words and terms:

Power(life) is in the battery(spirit) ..... the battery(spirit) is in the device(body) ..... the only reason the device(body) can move is because the battery(spirit) has been placed in it ..... remove the battery(spirit) from the device(body) and the device(body) can no longer move.

unfortunately I have to go to work so I will continue this another day, hopefully tomorrow, what I find amazing is: even though I will continue this at a later time, there is no interruption of time with the person reading this, since at an even a further place in time, all of what is written is already there.

The only difference would be if someone who is reading this is reading these writings each day and then has to wait for more. Which is just another picture of what God is doing in our lives, waiting for Him to reveal more through His Spirit each day, for that is the daily bread He gives us.

Do we read His Word each day, waiting for Him to reveal more each day with the understanding that everything we need to understand is already written down? Do we go to the cross and hear the words of Jesus Christ upon it "It is finished" and then move in the Spirit of Christ Jesus who God sent to understand what is finished?

Blessings to all ... until tomorrow for me ... but today for you who continue to read.

Wisdom is not measured by time, it is measured by understanding

62018 August Empty Re: 2018 August on Tue Aug 14, 2018 5:59 pm


August 14, 2018

Today I would like to start off saying, even what I write down is not needed by anyone to understand what has already been written down. What I write are just the results of what I have come to understand by and through what has already been written. With that being said, I shall continue with my testimony, if anyone is interested in reading it.

One of the first verses that had an impact in my life (and this verse was even before my experience in 2005) was: "Endure hardship as discipline, for God is treating you as sons, for what son is not disciplined by his father" Hebrews 12:7. This is how I remember it, but it is not any particular translation, more so paraphrased.

The KJV translates as follows: "If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?" Hebrews 12:7.

When we are younger (without understanding the purpose of discipline), the mind of a child can easily view discipline as punishment. It isn't until that child grows up and has children of it's own, do they come to realize themselves that they do not punish their children, they are training their children, training them about right and wrong, training them about good and bad, training them about obedience and disobedience, and so many other things can also be listed.

Have we, even in our older age, come to understand this principle ourselves? The word "discipline" can be a very "grey" word, and what I mean by that is: it can be understood as "punishment" or it can be understood as "training"; it can go either way. If God loves us enough as to call us a son, wayward or not, should we not see that "Love does not punish, Love trains"?

So by this, if we have hardship in our lives, do we see it as God punishing us, or do we see it as God training us? And in what area are we being trained in? If we are suffering financially, do we see it as God punishing us for not giving us enough money to pay our bills, or do we see it as God training us to be responsible with what we have?

Money is: that which has value ..... it has value to everyone, but do we even ask the question, what does God consider valuable? And what I mean by this is: what does God possess that has value to everyone? "Punishment" has no value if it is not understood as "discipline", and when we come to understand it as "discipline", He takes us a step further in understanding it as "training".

So, in short:
Q: What does God possess that has value to everyone?
A: His training

If we do not believe this, then:

Q: Who are we trained by?
A: 1. God 2. Others (which includes men) 3. Ourselves

And to take this a step further:
Q: What does God possess that has value to everyone?
A: His training in understanding

And if we do not believe this, then:
Q: Who are we trained in understanding by?
A: 1. God 2. men (and others) 3. Ourselves

So now I ask this:
Q: Who are you being trained in understanding by?
A: 1. God 2. man 3. yourself

My whole point to what I wrote today is to show another the process of understanding. Is this process of understanding done by God, man, or ourselves? I myself believe, the reason that Hebrews 12:7 had an impact on me before my experience was to prepare the way for the day I would start being trained by God after that experience. (In the same way that the apostle Paul was trained after his experience on the road to Damascus)

For me, in what I have come to understand: "Faith" is God's currency in His monetary system, but unlike "money" in this world of which we have to earn, God freely gives us faith and in exchange for giving all the faith we have been given in the first place back to Him, He returns to us that faith along with more and with it understanding.

And the reason for that is because of what I am now going to write about, and that is "I became hungry".

to be continued .....

Wisdom is not measured by time, it is measured by understanding

72018 August Empty Re: 2018 August on Sun Aug 19, 2018 5:40 pm


August 19, 2018

How often do we really stop to think about things? And what I mean by this is: How often do we take things for granted? Because we know for a fact that if we are taking something for granted, we are not thinking about it. Would you agree with this?

The reason I bring this up is: I mentioned in my last post about "becoming hungry", so I would like to go from the general principle of using the word "things" to a specific subject, that subject being "hunger". So, with that being said, let's see the specific questions:

How often do we really stop to think about hunger?
How often do we take hunger for granted?

My point to this is: When I say that I "became hungry", it was not a physical hunger but a "spiritual hunger". And, in what I have come to understand through my studies of the written word, what I was given on that day was a hunger to study the written word, and also by these studies, I have come to understand the relationship of words.

What I mean by this is: hunger can be compared to desire ..... and then ..... desire can be compared to passion ..... and then ..... passion can be compared to a flame ..... and then ..... a flame can be compared to God's Spirit ..... so, what do I believe happened to me on that day? In a short statement, from what I have come to understand through my studies ..... "I was baptized by fire" ..... but not completely understanding at that time what had actually happened.

What I was given on that day was "passion", a passion, known only as a hunger at that time; a hunger to know the truth ...... and by His written word, we can come to know that "Christ is Truth" so it is also understood that I was given "a passion(hunger) to know Christ", and again, not understanding at that time, the fullness of what I was given. This hunger; this passion was a beginning for me, a beginning that would not only change my understanding of who "God" is, but "what" God is and "what He is doing" and also ..... by and through His Spirit increasing my understanding of all of these things ..... He is changing me.

What I also did not know at the time was that "I" would get worse, before "I" got better ..... if someone had told me how bad "I" would get, I would not have believed them ..... but now, because of what I have gone through, I know I had to die before I was resurrected ..... and to quote the words of the apostle Paul "to die is gain".

to be continued .....

Wisdom is not measured by time, it is measured by understanding

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